I feel the interval of the jumps, I hear the wind that strikes the windows, I open them and I see nothing else. Love passes in an instant, a particular, heavy, vital temporal. I made a point of ignoring the losses, the deviations, the disappointments that always went hand in hand. Until it did not, and I did not realize it. Each passing day I miss more of these passing paths, the summer rain they call desire, love, affection, for which I gave myself (in depth) – until they drowned me. Storm that scares, breaks half said of things but irrigates the plantations, prepares the crops. The days were ruined so that they would come; expectations downhill, followed by unexpected happiness. I only feel that I have already enjoyed more, that I have loved more, and today I am less, surrounded by stories in half, lost in my own labyrinths. I wish I had been ideal, less self-centered, immune to the slaps of time, and whoever I had, and whoever I was. I’ve wanted it so badly that it’s almost banal now; because I complain about everything I’ve gone through, everything that still hurts, and if I could go back in time (hypocritical like myself) I would do it all over again.
Written by: Perina (@naoperina)
Translate by: @rascunhodraft
Alternating good days and bad days you follow.
You never know what it will be.
You want to believe that everything changes,
For the best
And he clings to it.
You sink down one more time, there are days it seems like you can not take it.
You’re just crying and crying.
You ask God to help you.
And imagine that your dead mother is there to help you.
With you on your lap doing some fun.
“Everything will be fine. You are strong. You’ve been through this before. ”
Everything will be fine.
You sob once more.
I’ve been thinking a lot about my plans. I’almost finishing my college, I’ve studied a lot and there’s still so much I want to do. I’ve been doing lists of what I want for now, what I’ve done and what I have to do before I actually finish college.
I lived here for 5 years but I still do not Know the city, I went to museums, exhibitions, parties, bars but there is still so much to see. I wanted to learn Italian and French and finally decided to enroll, Italian no yet, I started the Spanish course too, it is not my favorite language but learning is accurate.
I wanted a love ah… This is harder. So I started looking and found it, but I do no think it has yet. I lived here with the following thought, there is no love in São Paulo, and I think this is true, in parts, for a long time I thought it was the rush of the other, but I realized that deep down they do not want to, because it is easier to live without having to give to the other.
So I gave up, I decided they’re going to have to find me now. I did not give up on love, no that, but I’II leave it a while, inside me.
Deep down we just need someone to hear us,
What give laughter of our daydreams.
That sits on the porch and watch the sunset
While we finished a cup of tea.
We just need someone to talk to.
About all, about nothing.
Without criticizing us
But, help usunderstandour role in life.
I look at you and I can not contain myself
The mind flies as I watch your gestures
My whole body shivers.
Thinking of how I would do
You get lost
In my hands and lips
And I would get lost together
To hear their groans of pleasure.
If you could hear my thoughts now
I’d think I’m an indecent poor.
I can not avoid
Your innocent air fills me
It will be perfect to make you squirm
And explode together