Some will say it is selfish. When thinking about it, also think about what you have contributed to reach that point. There is no selfishness when individualism has taken over people. Others will not understand the fact that I am happy, making jokes, probably these will be the people almost always distant, who does not like to hear that it is not well, that gives the standard answer “everyone has problems” How does one talk with this kind of person? Some have reminded me and are sure that they could have done more and others have not bothered to stop and think, to follow their lives normally, tomorrow is a new day. There are also those who wept over my body and will mourn my death, they will know exactly where they went wrong. I will not stand here pointing out the error of each one with me, I will not make this letter another chapter of thirteen reasons why, because I am free, maybe I still have to pay for it in an alternative world. Maybe there is a God and I should kneel at your feet and ask for forgiveness. I’m not afraid anymore. My fear is of empty, futile and individualistic people, who are happy with the suffering of others, my fear is of people who do not know what reciprocity is, who only expect the next gives more than nothing gives in return. My fear is of those who are silent when injustices occur or of those who find grace in the humiliation of others. I do not understand how the world works and I can not take love anymore. I apologize to my family, I loved you and I recognize your love for me, but the world is cruel. There is no comfort in death and unfortunately I can not say that everything will be fine, but I know they will find their way.
I have undergone great changes as I grow up, I have fallen, I have broken my face, but I am not as sad as most people. Because? Because deep inside I know that someone only grows, matures, when learns to stand alone in the midst of these tumbles. Many people claim that I have changed, that I am no longer the same, but nothing seems the same as it used to be. I chose to change, I chose to shut up when I have so much to say, I chose to give more priority in discovering who I really am, what goes on in my head, whether I am only accumulating opinions, or an original character created by my attitudes. I diligently seek to be a good person, no, I’m good, if I were not, what would I be ?! I’m tired of the advice everyone gives: “everything passes”, “one day you’ll laugh at it all,” they do not comfort me anymore. So I decided not to listen to what people say about me, I preferred not to know the opinion of those who do not interest me and influence, and to give life a chance, to be able to look at its good side, to inspire and ex-freak, to go back a little and relive moments that have done me so well, that made me who I am today. Retake friendships thrown away, go back and eat the same candy I ate in the presence of people who today are no longer here near me. To trust, to be able to love. One day I heard that loving is a way to revolutionize, change the world. I believed, because one day my life changed because of the love of the greatest revolutionary that ever existed, Jesus, and I do not regret it and I will never regret giving all the credits of my life to Him. Only when I decided to shut up, I discovered that my voice it also echoes inside me, and I end up talking to myself when I think no one else understands me. I no longer want my life equal to all that is seen, tired of appearances, decided to use the brain, and my character still in formation to conquer people.