I wish I could say I’ll miss you. That I will one day sit with my children and grandchildren the adventures and joys lived in this magical place. But no, it will not happen.
Getting here was definitely a win and I’m happy for that. But it was also arduous, it was painful, it was time consuming, it was painful.
First I got used to the furdunço that is the big city, to someone who came from the interior of the world, imagine. Then with loneliness, because although we have many people always, we are as lonely as in the desert, this is the worst kind of solitude. Gradually we get used to it, we get so busy that loneliness appears in rare moments when you allow yourself to look at life. And we walk some more and we try, we fail and try to improve the next.
Instead of telling the joys, I will tell how I became a stronger woman, how I cried for losing that bus, what made me late for work. How I got home at one o’clock in the morning, not knowing if I ate first I bathed or slept anyway, in my clothes all day long, with the sweat of a thousand people clinging to me. It happened to sleep almost face-to-face on the plate and no shower rs.
I’ll tell you how difficult it was to lose the best and only friend in college and then see her do bulyng with the one she called friend one day. As the saying goes, you only know people when you stop talking to them.
I will tell you how it was to move several times from home, to live with the elderly, young people, adults and children all in one house at the same time. I will tell the feeling of spending more important holidays at home alone while others celebrated with family.
I will remember telling them that college love is not always formed and that life is this, some are luckier than others and it does not mean that it is bad, it is all part of growth and contributes to a journey of high knowledge.
I will tell them that in the end I felt proud of the woman I am, who I became, stronger, more resistant.